Creative block, Perfectionism & Self Love

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The summer is coming to a close!

For me, summer is time for me to grow & transform. To start new projects, contribute to my community & play.

I haven’t been focusing on work or career goals.

But last week I made a vision board, All about money, success & my career! I’ve realized this summer how important balance is, especially balance of ambition and self motivation with self love, play and relaxation. To much of either can leave you off-kilter.

Over the summer, there were times when I beat myself up, chastising myself for taking too much time off.

I felt that if I was hard on myself, if I just pushed myself a bit more, I could be way more productive.

But even on my MOST PRODUCTIVE DAYS I would finish the day thinking:

“I got some stuff done, but not as much as I wish I would have. Not as much as I could have.”

I would sit in front of my laptop, unable to start my work, or when I was almost done a project, unable to put the finishing touches on it!

Why!? For fear of not being perfect!

I could NEVER live up to my own standards so how could I possibly begin, or know when I was done!?

Then I finally realized - my high standards, this feeling of never being good enough, it had to end.

There must be a better way. I needed to overcome this block.

Thats when I found self love,

I put a note on my vision board:

“I AM A BEAUTIFUL AND PERFECT BEING, EXACTLY AS I AM.”

What a radical thought.

At first I didn’t believe it, but I was determined to! I needed to.

So I looked in the mirror and repeated it to myself:

“I AM A BEAUTIFUL AND PERFECT BEING, EXACTLY AS I AM.”

I felt silly at first, I laughed at myself. But that dissipated.

I repeated this to myself until I believed it.

What a loving feeling, a peaceful contented feeling, a freeing feeling.

Warm and spacious like sunlight but cozy and safe like a cocoon.

Now it has become a daily practice for me.

It is so much easier for me to work with this mindset, I have much less trouble starting and finishing.

My work flows out of me, without struggle or difficulty.

I have much more peace in my social life as well. A safe and solid loving home in my mind.

A healthy sense of self worth, independent of anything external.

I still get low sometimes but I know what to do & where to go when that happens.

I’m not sure who I will be next month, or even next year, but I am looking forward to all that I can accomplish this fall now that I have shed this weight.

Thank you for reading.

I hope you find peace, whatever life brings you this fall.

Love,

V